A day with the queen 022606

Hi, all!
So, today I went to Windsor, which is the oldest residence of a monarchy in the world. They say that it dates back over a thousand years.

The drive to Windsor was lovely. It was exactly what you think of when you think of England. Green rolling hills, stately manors… just lovely. The day was crisp, sunny with a whip of a wind. Sheer beauty if you could stand by a window inside and absorb the suns rays through the window. As we crested a hill, I could see the expanse of the castle, it was amazing! As we neared the castle, the Windsor park emerged on the left and the right. The driver pointed out the queens sheep and the queens stables. Quite impressive! Also, he tells me that there is quite a smashing little village near by but it is reserved for those that have served a queen. Hm! Interesting.

The town of Windsor itself was lovely. This sounds horrible, but it really brings the Harry Potter books to life. I know exactly where J.K. Rowling found the wizarding market. These markets look exactly like the movies. They are so much fun with their crazy little shops surrounding the castle, unfortunately more and more these shops are being overtaken by large corporations. I gave the Gap a stern look as I passed by.

The cab ride was quite expensive… 15 quid (approx $25). I had previously inquired though and apparently the bus doesn't run on Saturdays except from about 3 miles up the road (without any sidewalk whatsoever!). The train nearby was 11 quid and first I had to ride to Staines and wait 40 minutes for a train to Windsor. Whatever! I shelled out the 15 pounds begrudgingly. I think I am more English than I know. Thankfully, the driver did drop me off right in front of Windsor castle, so I didn't have to walk far to get to the entrance.

At the entrance, I asked the young Asian (yes, Asian! Whoa! I thought I was going to the home of the ENGLISH monarchy… at least they could put on a show for me!) what the age of a student was for admission (you see here in Europe it is often 26!). He said it doesn't matter the age, as long as you can provide a student ID. Out I pulled a GBC id and it saved me a whopping 3 pound 50! This is almost $6 USD! The admission under student rates was 12 pounds… a bit expensive, but I do think the queen has a corner on this whole oldest castle market.
Through security I go. An older chap in a security uniform (red cape, funny hat) laughs that I to through security like a pro. I just laughed and told him that I fly at least weekly. This is old hat to me. (Quick aside here. I was once told by an airport security/NSA guard that the trick is to walk as fast as possible through the metal detector. It works!)
I walk through the gates and retrieve my audio guide and start up the hill. The castle is definitely on a quite a hill! From the top, you can see anywhere. The flag is up, so the queen is at home. The architecture is a mish-mash of styles… medieval, gothic, renaissance, etc, but it is all lovely and huge!

My first real stop is St. Georges Chapel. Wow! It is amazing. From the outside, there are all sorts of gargoyle and interesting ballasts. The stained glass windows are impressive, but from the outside are not looking at all colored. On the inside, it is mind-blowingly beautiful. You walk into the main hall. The ceiling is amazing!!! It is about 3 stories high and intricately carved marble. The columns on each side reach from the floor and grow into the incredible ceiling. I now know where J.R.R. Tolkien conceived of the Elvin kind, because they would live here. As you walk around the chapel, there are these huge plaques on the floor. They are the location of famous crypts. I see all sorts of kings, queens, and famous military heroes. In a separate area, the choir area has a special distinction, not only are the queen mother and her king here, but also this is the place where the knights are honored (one of them anyway) behind the choir seats, there are brass plaques and above the plaques are each knights helmet and regalia. Interesting! I go around the rest of the chapel. It is just astonishing. So old, so amazing. As I leave, there is something that I can not really believe. A gift shop! I am speechless. So, here we are in one of the most amazing churches in the world and inside there is a gift shop. I am appalled!

I trudge back up a hill and go toward the area of the queen's state rooms. As I come close, the wind has turned brutal. I watch a few Japanese girls get blown around. The really funny part is that half of them are wearing short skirts and are freezing to death. Where did they think they were going when they got dressed this morning? Don't know they know that this is England!?
So, I enter the area into the castle. The first stop is the Queen Mary's doll house. It was given to Queen Mary from someone. I'm not really paying attention because this has to be the coolest dolls house that I've ever seen! It is about 12 feet tall. It is complete with a king's quarters, garage, nursery, armory… you name it! I am in awe. All I can think is that Momma Ridge would absolutely die to see this.

I continue on into a corridor and am pushed around by some of these Japanese girls. I am supremely annoyed. I am very much on English time today, taking my time, moseying about. Erggg.. They are obnoxious. I go through the corridor that has the coolest "American girl" dolls ever. They aren't American though. In fact, they were a gift from France given to Elizabeth when she was a little girl. There is an entire corridor of accessories… some of the cooler accessories are a feather fan, mini heels, a cape, barrettes, and a bunch more stuff that I can't see to well because apparently I'm visiting the castle with the Japanese female rugby team and they think it is a match day. I reach an area to sit down and wait until they all pass.

I enter another area where the royal family stores some of their favorite paintings, drawings and photos. The Japanese are almost gone, so I sit a bit longer. As I enter I am dazzled by a collections of drawings from none other than Leonardo Da Vinci! Wow!! I study them in amazement for quite some time. I continue on to see items from Raphael and other artists that I'm not quite familiar with. According to my handy audio guide, this is just a small portion of the collection, they are changed periodically to avoid too much light damage.

I continue on to probably one of my most favorite areas-- the china gallery! There are quite some interesting patterns. However, I want to grab the guide and tell him to move around some of the items. Some of the older pieces have obvious crazing in the glaze and some of the others have fingerprints on them. Hmph! Don't they know this is the queens china!? Maybe I should pursue a new profession as a china display artist. C'mon! The castle must have someone looking into these things.

Anyway, up the stairs I go and into the main reception hall. The first thing that I am struck by is not the amazing chandelier or the intricate carvings in the base and crown boards, but by the suits of armor. They are so really awesome, but so short! Jeez, I must be a giant! I don't think that I could fit into a single suit of armor on display. I seriously tower over them!

I enter the first gallery. Here are items that were captured from around the world for Queen Victoria. The first display has all sorts of marvelous items from India-- the kings crown, a tiger head made from solid gold with crystal eyes and fangs, all sorts of jewel encrusted daggers… The next from Thailand, yet another crown and more bejeweled items. Nigeria, more crowns, more jewels. I wonder looking around at all these amazing items from India, Thailand and Nigeria that the British government hasn't offered to give them back. Instead they are parading as the first real stop in the queens state rooms. It seems a bit crazy to me. In the middle of all of the stolen goods sits Victoria herself with her fav pooch. I don't know whether it is her surroundings or the marble statue, but she looks like quite a witch to me. Anyway the ceiling is really awesome, but nothing compared to the next room.

The next room is a huge dining room. All of the paintings on the wall are of famous people who assisted in bringing down Napoleon. They are huge canvasses and incredibly done. The room itself is breathtaking. I take about 10 minutes just looking at all of the carvings in the walls, the amazing ceiling, the chandeliers and the paintings. Wow!

I parade through many, many more rooms like this. I'm sure you don't want more details. There are paintings from masters around the world, masterpieces in gilded furniture, wondrous frescos on the ceiling, amazing carvings in the walls, clocks like nothing that you can imagine, awesome inlay, carpets that are just sheerly beautiful. All together it is everything that you think the British palace should be. I must say though, there is an astounding lack of huge paintings of Prince William. I see tons of pictures of Edwards fat, ugly children, but not one of the miracle child that is Prince William.

I am amazed by how much damage the fire of 1992 reeked. Literally, it burnt huge sections of the palace. You can definitely see where it was rebuilt. I find it quite sad. At one point, I was standing in the crowning room and I looked out the window. There I saw a nuclear power plant. No, this can't be right! I went and got the attendant, who looked about as old as the queen and I combined. Yes, she confirmed it was a "power station."**See the picture next to this. This is the room** She also told me there is also a Mars candy factory there. Interesting! Radioactive Mars bars, anyone? I also asked her about the flight pattern. All day I'd seen planes flying low over Windsor castle. The older attendant confirmed that Heathrow was just a few kms away. But, can't they divert the traffic? I asked. She is the queen of England! Nope, apparently not. Another item I find out later is that the amazing chalices of gold aren't really gold! They are sterling with gold plate. What! Don't they know that she is the queen of freaking England! I am lobbying for her at this point! This is just ridiculousness. A nuclear power station, a Mars bar factory, noisy planes and now not even solid gold! What a sham! Poor Elizabeth. However, I must remind myself that she does have at least 40 sets of china, one fine grandson and quite the castle. No moat though… that is a sham as well.

So, I wander the grounds a bit before I leave. I wander into Windsor to stop by some of these interesting little shops. I buy a pair of trainers for 5 pounds from the Hospice fundraising shop. They still had tags on them. Quite the find I think. I also stop into Woolworths and buy some postcards and a ton of chocolate. (Don't worry mom and dad. I'll save it for when you come.) I watch a mother and daughter examine the candy. The daughter wants a Toffee Crisp. The mother suggests some black currant pastilles. That is like suggesting prune flavored gummy bears. The end up with the nasty pastilles. Poor kid! I bought some so we can all guffaw at how nasty they are… that is all of us but Julia whom I'm sure will enjoy them immensely. I guess it is different when you are raised on black currant.

I walk and walk and walk and look for food. Finally, I find a Turkish restaurant. Score! This is by far the best food I've had in England. The cacik is actually called cacik and is to die for. The doner is perfect. Everything is exactly as I think it should be. It sets me back 10 quid, but that is the going rate in these parts. I leave and look for a telephone to call a taxi. As everyone now has mobile phones, all of the old red telephones have been removed. I go into a hotel to ask for assistance. Magically, they have a direct line to Windsor cars. Yes! I call a car. Five minutes later, I'm on my way back to the Berystede. I lay down for a nap and don't rise until this morning. Short of a bit of work, I haven't really done anything today. They hotel staff says they are going to miss me as I'm always up for a bit a chat.

Anyway, enough procrastinating for me! Back to work! The more I get done the closer I am to the land where I can where sandals all day! Ahhh… right now that sounds absolutely dreamy to me.
Cheerio!
Amanda
P.S. I apologize to anyone who may have not received an e-mail in a while. I think I might have copied from an old list at some point. If you haven't received an e-mail in a while, you might want to check the archives: http://www.amandastravel.blogspot.com/ Sorry again! I haven't updated the pictures lately or the Stanley blog. When I do, I will send out those links.

Welcome to your castle... 022206

It seems that the excitement is never ending on this trip. Last night, I got to the airport fine. No issues with immigration or customs… Boarded my plane on time, pushed and shoved in the unorganized manner that is boarding on Cyprus airways. I was seated next to some Brits who had fried themselves crispy on the isle. They were not at all interested in talking to me… Whatever. I took a nap. Woke up for them to tell me we were to land. We circle Heathrow for over an hour in a holding pattern.

The landing was horrendous! As we are approaching the ground, we are swaying hard. It was so bad that I, the veteran flyer, am getting a bit motion sick. The poor kid a row over and up loses his lunch. I'm wondering does the free alcohol on Cyprus Airways extends to the pilots as well. We hit the ground and the fan jet reversers kick in and stop the swaying. I'd like to take a moment to thank my dad for engineering quality fan jet reversers. I swear they were the only thing that kept the wings from smashing into the ground. You know it is a bad landing as when we finally stop, people start kissing one another.

So, once again through immigration… I love being the only one on the flight from another land. I breeze through the non-EU line. There are three lines open there. The EU side has about a 40 minute wait. Haha! Once again, I cheat the bureaucracy that is immigration. I change some money. I changed 3 different currencies (SEK, RUR, CYP) into GBP. I arrive at luggage just in time to retrieve my bag. This trip is going great. No waiting, everything in line. I speed through customs and for once my car is waiting! Woohoo! What a day! I'd like to say that I'm just getting better at this, but the truth is that I'm just lucky right now. Too bad there is no Powerball over here! ;-)

So, the UK is chilly and a bit rainy right now. Big surprise! It is lovely and green though. This time I'm staying in Ascot. It is right next to Windsor (yes, as in the castle), and is known for its big horse races in the summer (of which the track is owned by the royals). We are speeding along the English countryside and even at night, it is magnificent. We arrive at my "hotel." I am staying at The Berystede, which is a huge old country manor. It is lovely. It was built in the 1800s.

So, I settle in and am marveling a bit at this hotel. It is exactly what an English country castle should be. So, I get to my room and am reading the hotel information. Apparently, in addition to its charm, this hotel is haunted!!! Yes, as in ghosts. Here is the excerpt from the history:

"Local newspaper reports give a graphic account of the conflagration including the death of a Ms Eliza Kleininger. Eliza was lady maid to Mrs Standish and as befitting the role of a faithful advisor and confidante would often be bestowed gifts of jewels not only from her mistress but also from visiting unattended ladies staying as house guests. Eliza kept these precious gifts in a box in her room - her retirement insurance. Small wonder then that she was tempted to rush back into the burning Berystede to retrieve it. The following day her charred bones were found at the foot of the servants staircase surrounded by the trinkets that she had so nearly saved. Today her spirit is still wanders the north side of the house forever searching for her precious jewels...." They call her the blue lady.

So, not just any ghost but a ghost named ELIZA looking for jewels… hahahah what an odd life I live. For those of you not getting the connection… my mothers middle name is Eliza. When Claron and I have a baby (one day far from now), if it is a girl, we plan on naming her Eliza. As for the jewels, Claron is always teasing me that I have more jewelry than the royals… I guess it is a good thing that I didn't bring a lot… Eliza might have come after me.

You know, I couldn't make this stuff up! Anyway, I had a lovely drive to work this morning. I am trying to decide my plans for the weekend. I have been throwing around the idea of going to Paris, but I don't think it will be enough time for me. I really want to go to the Louvre, but think that I will need at least a week there. I'd also LOVE to see Versailles. The other option is to go to Windsor Castle on Saturday and trawl around this area. There is also a murder mystery weekend at the Berystede this weekend. We'll see.
So, I'll definitely put pics of the Berystede and Eliza on the blog. The website is: http://amandastravel.blogspot.com/
I'd better get to work!
Cheerio!
Amanda

Claron, pack our stuff... 022106

Well, I woke up this morning and Cyprus is awesome. Sunny and bright… just the right temperature.
Last night, I found the deal closer. After I came home from work, I went for "fish" to Ziggy (this is spelled wrong) which is a fishing village about 35 minutes from Nicosia. I went with Kyriakos (whose name I previously butchered as Giriagos), Tatiana, and Chari to a small and deserted restaurant by the sea. The lady at the restaurant knew Kyriakos and Chari since they were very small children. She greeted them by name. We were seated and started some great chats. I really like this set of friends. Actually, everyone I have met in Cyprus has been extremely friendly, but Tatiana is my favorite.

The "fish" starts coming. For the first two courses, I saw no fish. Only different types of squid and octopus. As I am seriously freaked out by tentacles (which of course are still attached), I am hesitant to try. Everyone assures me that yes, this is really good, but only on Cyprus, where it is ridiculously fresh. I try it. Surprise, surprise! It is quite tasty. I am still a little freaked out by the tentacles, but I eat it. It is surprisingly NOT chewy or slimy. Who knew? Throughout the night, I am also prodded into eating some muscles which tasted okay, but were chewy due to the rim. I'll pass on those in the future. None of the food tasted fishy. It was great. When we finally got fish, it was superb (even though these also still had the head attached)!

After dinner, we went to Kyriakos' house on the sea. At this point, I fall in love with Cyprus. I am hooked. I read in the paper that you can buy an apartment on the sea for about $300K USD. Okay. Deal. Where can I sign the papers? The sea is super clear and warm and amazingly beautiful. I love Santa Barbara, but nothing so far is comparing to the Mediterranean as far as the sea goes.

I get to the hotel, talk to Claron and write postcards for two hours. If you don't receive a post card in about a month (or haven't received one in the past), you need to send me your address… I wrote to everyone on my list. The concierge laughed at how many post cards when I gave them to him to mail.

This afternoon, I leave for the UK. I am not ready to leave. There are still so many things that I want to see and do here. I think I would like to stay at least until the summer (only of course if Claron can come). But, for now, I still have to work. I hope all is well around the world.
Smiles,
Amanda

Wow! Where to start... 022006

OK… So, I have so much to tell…
So, Cyprus is really awesome. It is my favorite business destination so far. The office is super nice. They take me out to lunch every day, but then get on me for not eating enough.
On Friday night, I went out to mezze with Charis. This is a type of Cypriot food that is very traditional. There is a set menu for the meal and the waiters just keep bringing food. We went to a place in Plaka, which is the old part of Nicosia. We were going down these little alleyways and I was starting to wonder where Chari was taking me. Finally, there it was… The Plaka tavern. The first course included an awesome homemade bread (which looks like a huge sesame seed bagel), a Greek salsa, Greek salad with the best feta that I have ever had in my life, unbelievable tzaziki, awesome ravioli, beets, olives, risotto, potatoes, vegetables, and probably four more plates that I am forgetting. The table was completely loaded. The food was amazing and it was all homemade. I was full after the first course… but then came the second… this was souvlaki, sausage, roast lamb, roast beef, a fried potato dish and about four more dishes that I am forgetting… Next came snails and a bunch more awesome food. Charis makes me try the snails… Believe it or not… they taste great! You just can't look at them when you eat them. The texture in your mouth is not bad at all. While all of these courses are coming, I am playing with the little girl at the next table. She is three and absolutely gorgeous!! She comes over and pets my hair and her parents are mortified. She comes over again and tries to bring me bread and take my bread. I don't mind. She is so sweet. The last course finally comes… tons of fruits and Greek pastries. They are wonderful. I am so stuffed and I think that is probably the best food I have ever had in my life. [Note: Aaron R., you need to come to Greece or Cyprus. These people know food!] The little girl is getting tired. She refuses to put her coat on. She comes over to me and I put her coat on. Her parents just laugh. Kids!
Next, we go to meet up with some of Charis' friends who are teachers from Limasol, which is on the coast on the other side of the island. We are looking for the place. Finally, we find it. It is down an unmarked set of stairs in the basement of an unmarked building, but the scene is awesome! There are these long tables at which everyone is seated. There is a band of about 7 people singing and playing Greek music. The singers are awesome. People are Greek dancing and generally having a great time. There are three guys and three girls. We mainly talk with Nikos while the girl across from him shoots me death looks. I think I need a sign made that says, "I'm happily married and do not want your boyfriend." I can have it translated into multiple languages, like the airport signs, and I will wear it around my neck like a large billboard. It might make my life easier with the other women around the world. We hang out and talk and watch everyone dance until about 3 a.m. (Note: we didn't go out for dinner until about 8 or 9 p.m. and that took a couple of hours, so we were only at the Greek dance 3 or 4 hours). At this point, Charis is looking like he is not feeling great. He says that he has a headache. On the way home, I find out that the girl across from Nikos was whining at Charis for bringing a pretty "tourist." Whatever, chickie! Maybe she didn't notice the rings that I wear on BOTH hands, just so no one misses the point. Anyway, Charis drops me back at the hotel. What an awesome night!
I don't get up the next day until about 2 p.m. I call Charis, and he still has a headache. I go upstairs to the Executive Lounge and meet some awesome Americans. He is a bank executive that is originally from Holland. She teaches ESOL and volunteers at the animal shelter when she's in Cyprus. They were very interesting people. We chat for about three hours. I drink the most awesome orange juice ever provided by Mr. George the lounge attendant. Mr. George is always there. I go to see him all of the time, and he takes great care of me.
I call Charis again. We plan to get together to go out to dinner with his friends. Tonight, it is Italian with his oldest friends. Giriagos and Tatiana who are engaged and to be married in November and Andreas and his fiancée, whose name I didn't catch because she doesn't speak great English, who are to be married in June. Charis is the best man in both weddings. Giriagos and Tatiana went to school in the UK and speak great English. They are all really awesome. We have a great time. Once again, the food is impeccable. On the way home, we stop and see Gregory. He and Charis are on a bit of the outs right now due to some friction over a girl, but they are getting better.
Sunday, I think we are to go around the island, but Charis calls me and tells me that he has a baptism that he has to go to. I spend most of the day watching German television and talking to interesting people in the Executive Lounge. I meet two fellow auditors (one man and one woman) from Nigeria and an older lady from Angola. We have an interesting conversation on marriage around the world. The Angolan lady is jewish and has lived everywhere! Surprisingly, I find out that Nigerians are not faithful and this is accepted. The Nigerian lady tells me that if her husband were to cheat on her, she would be unable to divorce him. If she were even to think of this, her father would beat her. This is quite a reality check for me! I also find out that there is quite an issue on Cyprus with infidelity, and it is leading to the high divorce rates on the island. Hmmm… interesting!
Charis calls me to go out for "coffee" with his friends. Tonight, we meet up with Gregory and his girlfriend, and Angelos and his cousin. Angelos is from the UK and really wants to move to California. We talk for a long time about America. I have an awesome hot chocolate. On Sunday, I don't really eat except for snacks from Mr. George. Charis has to go back to the baptism party for dinner. I go back to the hotel and go to the executive lounge. There I meet Mark. He is an older guy (he has kids my age) from San Diego. He has been in Cyprus for two weeks installing some software for Motorola. We have a nice chat. I finally retire to my room to talk to Claron and go to bed.
I'm back at work today. Charis and I are set to go to the coast tonight with Giriagos and Tatiana for fish. I've heard that they have the most awesome fish here. I am excited to try it.
Here is the list:
-In Cypriot Greek, to say someone "drowns the rabbit" or "opens the drawer" means that they are gay.
-All of the roofs have water tanks which are heated by solar panels. I am told that it take a while for the water to get hot so you must run it.
-While the water will not hurt you, everyone drinks bottled because it tastes funny.
-All of the outlets and toilets are British style.
-There are plasma TV's at the gas station to watch while you are filling your tank.
-It cost Charis $56 to fill his tank. Ouch!
-Most things are written in English and Greek.
-The buildings in Nicosia aren't really that pretty. They are all concrete and built to withstand earthquakes, which are fairly infrequent.
-Most of the taxicabs are Mercedes and will only come if you call them. You can not hail a cab.
-People eat out tons here. The restaurants are always packed.
-The average portion size here is bigger than in the US if you can believe that.
-The average salaries are much lower than in the US.
-You can still buy land on the coast fairly cheaply (compared to CA).
-All of the plants are the same as California, but they are just now getting birds of paradise.
-I've seen more Elise's on this small island than in all of the rest of the world.
-There is a restaurant across from my work called the "Mad Dog Café."
-The banks close at 2 p.m.
-The shops have weird hours. They close at 1 p.m. on Saturday, 2 p.m. on Wednesday, and all day on Sunday.
-Most people in Cyprus do not work 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.
-The culture is very laid back and relaxed. People love to take their time and enjoy themselves, but their driving is horrendous.
-There are lots of fapped-out Japanese cars just like in the States. It is quite a big thing to do here.
-"Face Control" is in fully effect at the bars and the clubs. This means they will only let you in if you are with a pretty girl, know someone or have money. In Nicosia, they do not let you in unless they know you. On the coast, it is the opposite. They will not let any of the locals in, only tourists.
-There are many people here who have emigrated from other places. In fact, in my office there is a Norwegian, a South African, a Hungarian, an Englishman and two Cypriots.
-"My Big Fat Greek Wedding" definitely rings true here. The typical wedding size is about 2000 people. The wedding dinner is only about 400 people though.
-The people are extremely welcoming and friendly.
That is all that I can think of for now. I promise to add pictures on the blogs soon. Right now, I am scrambling to update everyone and get my work done. I'd better run!
Amanda
P.S. Even though I'm eating, I'm still losing weight. I'm now down 10 lbs. Yea!

Just when I thought I was free and clear... 021706

So, I thought all would be well, and there would be no more tell of Russia… but the fun never ends.

Guess who drove me to the airport??? Yuri! He said he made a special trip just for me. He is the sweetest. I know the other drivers were available as they were all sitting in the drivers office. We had a great drive. We talked about all sorts of things… from whales and bluetooths to the disappearance of Christmas due to the Soviet regime and the emergence of New Years as the main holiday to his daughters. It was a lovely ride. Yuri is the best! He took me a way through Moscow that I had never seen. Quite interesting. There were many orange apartment buildings, usually the ones that I see are old and white. He said this was a newer part of the city. It was one of the nicest parts of Moscow that I have seen.

So, I get to the airport. I get through the first security check. I go through Customs, which doesn't even have anyone there. I get to where they would usually tear apart my bags… and tada! A new system is there. There are xray machines. Imagine that! They x-ray my bags… Man, this is an exciting blog! So, I go to check in #6 and wait with everyone else as they prepare to open. I watch some lady get completely reamed by what appears to be the desk manager for going to the counter. She yells at her that they don't have the list ready and can't check anyone in yet. They can't do anything if they don't have the list! I stand back and start talking to the person next to me. He is from Spain. We talking what I can only describe as Russ-lisch. He would speak in English and then substitute the Russian words for the words he didn't know. It kind of went like this… "Yeah, the weather is Spain right now is ladno. It's about 17 gradusov."

I watch another guy go up the counter. I'd say he's 23, a little shorter than me with a pretty nice build. He's wearing the worst pair of "designer" jeans that I have ever seen. They look like they were sewn together from all types of jean fabric and leather and are "tattered" looking. But get this… this is the best! They have suspenders (and they are not directly attached to the jeans, they are clipped on!) made out of jean fabric that he has left hanging down. Wow! Now, I've seen some bad Russian fashion, but I think we may be able to award the gold medal. He is also wearing a large puffy blue jacket with fur around the hood and a Canadian maple leaf symbol on it that says "Made in Italy." hmmm… His shoes are suede boots that kind of look like Lugs with a big buckle and pointier toe. He is also wearing large, gold sunglasses. His hair is spiked and highlighted. You can tell, he thinks he is a rock star! (He very well may be in Russia or he may be mafia. Don't know. Don't care!) You can tell this outfit probably costs more than my laptop (maybe twice as much) in Moscow. What a waste! He would probably be good looking if he weren't wearing the worst outfit in the world and was not a chauvinist as well. His girlfriend is yelling at him to help her with the bag… "Marco"-- wow! And a name to match the fashion!!! He waves to her to come along. He slaps his passport on the counter, and I can see that it has a wad of cash inside. His girlfriend catches up. She is everything you would expect Marco's girlfriend to be. Dyed blond, big sunglasses, weighs about 70 pounds (with clothes and probably her baggage too!), same bad fashion, just female. Her jacket is a short fur coat with a different fur on the collar and the rest. She has TIGHT jeans with stripes down the side that are definitely some horrible designer and knee high tan suede boots. She continues to whine at him. I don't think he even notices her there. If so, he doesn't say anything. Then I see it… Their bags are completely wrapped in plastic wrap-- not industrial plastic wrap like they were new, but Saran wrap from your kitchen. Wow! The attendant takes the passport and processes him. So much for the list! When the passport is given back it is much thinner. I don't think Marco says one word during the whole transaction.

I get in line. I get to the counter and can you imagine that they are disturbed because once again, my luggage is overweight? I argue with them in Russian. I actually shouldn't be overweight, but the rules have changed. In Stockholm, my carry-on could be 10 kilos, here only 5. The she-banshee from earlier comes over. I argue with her as well. She says that I have to check my carryon. Whatever, I should've just taken the Marco approach. So, they write on my ticket. The only guy behind the counter offers assistance. He says in Russian then English, you go down there, and it is on the right. So off I go to the Cyprus airways counter. I go down and on the right, and I only see Aeroflot. I ask them. Oh, that is on the 6th floor. I go over and wait for the elevator forever. I get on the elevator. There are two people with carts, one person smoking, someone with some rank BO, a little kid and some Russian chicks. Sometimes, I hate Russia. We go up stopping at each floor. Finally, 6! My eyes are going to fall out. Everyone on the elevator has to get off so that I can. I go all around the floor, reading each door looking for Cyprus Airways. No Cyprus Airways. Finally, I find some Lufthansa employees smoking in the hall. I ask them if they know where Cyprus airways is. 2nd floor. Great! Back on the elevator, we go. Finally, I find it. The kid is busy smoking. He doesn't really pay attention to me. Eventually, I take the Russian approach and rap on the window and give him "the look." I give him my ticket and my credit card. You don't have rubles? No, no rubles. I point to my card. He picks it up and throws it down in disgust and pulls out some forms that look like they are from the beginning of credit card history. He writes it up surprisingly fast, but does take a minute to chat with his girlfriend on his cell phone. He finishes gives me my receipt and I head back. The funny thing about all of that is that he wanted 1800 rubles cash or $50 on my credit card. As $50 is only 1400 rubles, I actually once again cheated Russian inefficiency. I'll just count that 400 rubles as tip for all of the crap that they put me through. I get through all of the fun that is security and dealing with check in and go to stand in line for immigration.

While in line for immigration, I talk to a fellow American who is working for a large shipping company that is shipping American chicken into Russia. Interesting. He is from New Orleans but is living in Holland. He speaks neither Dutch or Russian. Hmm. I get to the passport officer. She takes an especially long time looking at my passport (most likely due to the missing stamp from when I came in). Finally, I hear it… the one thing I can't wait to hear…. Stamp, stamp… but then she holds it some more… Then I see her doing something else… More stamping… I get my passport back and take a look at it. She stamped it in the right place where the first person should have.

I walk to the gate waiting area and go through security once again. The auditor in me has figured out about three different ways to skirt security though and how to get on the wrong plane--and that's not even using the Marco approach. The controls here are crap. While I'm waiting, guess who comes into the arrival hall… Marco and Barbie. Barbie has been shopping, and it looks like the Duty Free is sold out now. Marco comes in and takes off his coat. He's wearing this tight, black shirt with a huge bright blue patch sewn on it. Talk about fashion! Some old guy comes over and starts talking to Marco like they are best friends. Maybe he is famous after all…

I look out the window. It is snowing again. The runways look horrible. Great! Oh, and I was supposed to board the plane thirty minutes ago. Guess all that rushing around for overweigh baggage was worth it!

So, the plane take off was okay. I saw Marco and Barbie on the plane again… and believe it or not, he was actually carrying all of her shopping bags and her carryon, and they are in COACH! Who would've guessed it?!?

Magically, I have an entire row to myself. I smell the worst stench on earth. The guy in the row behind me and across has brought a smoked fish wrapped in tin foil on the plane and is attacking it with a plastic fork. Only the Russians! I stretch out and take a nap until dinner. Ahhhh, edible food. They must've brought it from Cyprus. I finally eat. I go back to sleep. I am awoken by the two men in front of me arguing loudly. Whoa, boys, settle down! From what I can tell they are arguing about Russia in Greek. I try to go back to sleep, but the effort is futile… They are so danged loud. After about two hours of this arguing, they decide they are best friends. The one guy could be Dr. Gar-El's twin. The other guy looks to be about 60, but doesn't have a single grey hair among his soft, black curls.

The landing in Cyprus is very similar to that in Bali… Basically, here is how it goes… you are out over the sea. You start to descend… you are going down more and more. You see water, water, water, is the landing gear going to start hitting the water soon?, water, water, land! Whew! Just barely made it.

On a side note, our flight path was hilarious. Moscow is almost exactly due north of Cyprus, between them lies, Ukraine, the Black Sea and Turkey. We flew down over Ukraine then out and over Greece and around. Literally, we flew around Turkey. I wonder why! We are on Cyprus airlines. (For those of you who don't get the underlying sarcasm. The Cypriots and the Turks have been at war since the 70's when Turkey decided to take over part of Cyprus.)

The airport in Cyprus is interesting. It is similar to the Santa Barbara airport. It is very small and there are no gates. It kind of looks like a big airplane parking lot. They bring stairs up to the plane, but in the front and the back. You then board a bus to go to the terminal. I talk to the guys that were arguing on the bus. They are surprised that I am American. As I spoke only Russian on the plane, they thought that I was a Roosky. Dr. Gar-El asks if I am Jewish… okay. This day is getting weirder.

At immigration, I see Marco and Barbie. Marco is in the EU passport line. Hmm… interesting. He is not Roosky either. Barbie is however in the non-EU line. She can not speak a lick of English when the passport control is trying to speak to her. An immigration officer is walking around. He stops in front of me. American? Yup! Come with me. He takes me out the line that had 10 people in front of me. He takes me over to his desk, swipes my passports, stamps and I'm out. The normal Russian glares are even colder than Moscow now… Hahah, Rooskies. It pays to be Americanski sometimes!

I collect luggage, no problem and meet my taxi. Nicosia (Lefkosia) is pretty neat. Cyprus overall overwhelmingly reminds me of California. All of the plants are exactly the same. Yea! Orange trees with oranges. The similarity to home makes me feel quite comfortable and happy. Maybe I am just happy to be out of Moscow in a place that I've actually wanted to go for some time.
I get to the hotel. I find out that since I'm now a Hilton gold member, I have been upgraded to an executive suite! Sweet! I also have access to the executive lounge… Yeah, I love Cyprus! Christos, the bellman, brings my bag and we go upstairs. We go to the room door and the key is not working. Christos uses his key and surprising an old English gentleman comes to the door. "A present for me?," he says. We all joke and have a laugh. Christos calls down and finds my room. It's a pretty sweet suite I must say.

I call Charis to let him know that I am here. We decide to go out even though it is about 9 p.m. He says Cypriots stay up all night. I slept on the plane, so I am good to go. Chari and I go to a café. I show Chari my Cali, family and travel pics and we catch up. I'm so excited to be here and he's so excited to have me.

Today was very "cold" in Cyprus. It got a bit chilly in the night. Chari decides to show me around town. We pack into his cute little Audi (of which I've never seen in the US) and trawl the town. I see a few Lotus and a Lotus dealer. The town is just getting better and better! It looks very similar to Palo Alto to me, with one exception. The city is divided… part is occupied by Turkey. As you get close to the border it is like going from the nicest part of Manhattan to the worst slum of Brooklyn in one block. Here's the beginning of the list about Cyprus:
-They park anywhere… it is as bad a Moscow with parking. I guess since it is an old city it wasn't really prepared for the deluge of cars that it now has. Charis and I parked in the middle of the sidewalk. Charis says the average Cypriot family has 3 cars.
-They drive on the other side of the road. The driving is crazy. No one obeys the signals, lines, etc. The roads are narrow and there are again interesting configurations.
-They have almost all of the American stores-- I see McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Starbucks (the biggest one I've ever seen), Tommy Hilfiger, Ikea, etc.
-None of the buildings are more than 5 or six stories.
-The city only has about 300K inhabitants.
-Cyprus overall only has about 800K people.
-This is the last year for the Cypriot Pound, next year they convert to the Euro.
-They have traffic lights, not just round abouts.
-Oranges are in season right now and are amazing.
-The food is awesome so far! Lots of nuts and fruits… yummy cheeses and meats… and don't worry. No poultry for me. We are too close to Turkey.
Well, I'm back at the hotel. I have to get tons done tomorrow, so I'd better hit the sack.
Night!
Amanda
P.S. Remember the archive is at http://amandastravel.blogspot.com/ I have also put up pictures there. I may be a bit lax on getting this one up. I have tons of plans for this weekend. I'm sure there will be tons of fun stuff to report.

Things you shouldn't tell your parents about Moscow 021606

Hi, there--
So, Monday morning I got up after barely sleeping and dragged myself downstairs to wait for Vadim. As he was late, I ran to the bakery next door grab some bread and to the "Produktoy" shop to grab a Fanta (which only has 31 calories! Amazing!). I am so proud of myself… no longer do I worry about saying the wrong thing in Russia. I am becoming more and more confident in my skills. I order and respond with no issue.
As I come back from the shop, there is Vadim. I get in the car and we exit the parking lot. It is snowing, as always. I laugh when I read CNN to see NY shut down. Moscow is constantly under a blanket of snow and it stops nothing, including Vadim. As we leave the parking lot, Vadim corners the car with the e-brake on a street with parked cars on both sides. At this point, I swear I am going to die. We come about 2-3 inches from hitting a car side on. I think… this is something I'm definitely not telling my parents. I started to think… What else is there that I probably shouldn't tell my parents about Moscow… I saved this until I left Moscow to send to you. Since the likelihood is strong that I won't be coming back… I'll give you the truth.. So, here we go, things my parents shouldn't know about Moscow:

Driving
-The driving situation is ridiculous. I see accidents all the time, and cars do not have the safety precautions we have. Aggressive driving is the norm… and I mean aggressive!
-The road conditions are crazy sometimes… the plows don't always plow. There is snow, ice and slush on the road, potholes and sometimes no lines. There are also some interesting road configurations. I can't even begin to explain them, but there are times when I could not tell you has the right of way. Like at a 5 point with no lights…
-Cars do not yield for pedestrians.
-My drivers blew red lights all the time and drove very uhhh.. I don't even know how to describe it.

Crime
-It is not unusual to find a corpse in the park or by the road side. (Source: Moscow Times)
-I've read stories about people going missing and never being found again.
-I've also read stories about people dying and the bureaucracy losing the body.
-Chechen rebels bombed the Metro a few years back.
-The police lie when they report crimes, and thus no one knows what the true crime statistics are. There has been anecdotal evidence of the police ignoring rape cases because they "do not want to make the city look bad." (Source: Moscow Times)
-The police are also known to accept bribes and refuse to return passports unless given a bribe.
-Mafia is everywhere. You see them in their brand new luxury cars. They are unmistakable. You especially see them around the casinos which are at least one to a block.
-Extortion and corruption are common in the business environment. Threats of violence and acts of violence are commonly resorted to in business disputes. (US State Dept.) Hahah, this is not what happens when I report exceptions in Moscow.
-There are a lot of scams, as to be expected. One that you hear about all of the time is called the "turkey drop." In the popular tourist destinations someone drops a lot of money in front of a tourist. When the tourist picks it up they accuse him of stealing their money. The tourist pulls out his wallet to prove he didn't take the money and they take the wallet.
-There are street gangs of kids who've been known to attack people on the street.

Overall Safety
-I was followed by a crazy homeless man yelling about Communist power and the KGB for about an hour and half one day.
-It happens quite often that someone gets drunk in a bar, passes out before they get home and dies of hypothermia.
-It is true that I see drunk men on the street and in the subway at all times of day, every day. You only ever see people with beer bottles though, never hard liquor.
-The dogs on the street should not be approached. They have been known to attack people and even sometimes start packs. They are all over and they can be aggressive. I've never seen any sort of animal control.

Diet
-I live on Fanta while I'm here. I rarely eat more than once a day. I've already lost 5 pounds.
-Last time I was here they confiscated 3 tons of radioactive food off of the streets.
-Sanitary conditions in the food markets are definitely sub par.
-Missionaries coming home from Russia are often found to have all sorts of parasites and such.
-Everyone on my team got sick from the food last time we were here.

Flying
-People privately sell and swap airline tickets-- like the two Siberian suicide bombers last year. A bribe of as little as 500 rubles ($17) can get anybody on board a domestic flight, according to aviation officials and media reports. (Source: Moscow Times)
-I've landed on runways that were not completely clear of snow and ice and prayed the plane would stop.
-My last Aeroflot flight was swaying when it hit the landing strip.

I guess these are things that you can say about most big cities in the world. I don't think there is as much corruption with the police or the mafia in most other cities, but that is fairly contained. Overall, I've never felt "seriously" unsafe… but maybe sometimes nervous with the slippery marble, unsafe driving conditions, crazy landings and odd homeless people. I have had no problems on the subway or with the police. They also think that I am Russian though, and this makes a big difference. My advice… Don't smile, look at the floor and carry a plastic bag everywhere you go. Voila! You are now Russian.

For once the Russian inefficiency is playing to my strength. I talked to my mom and husband tons while I was here, and we had some serious chats! I got my bill today. They only charged me 1 minute for each of the calls!!! WOOHOO!!! So, when we talked for an hour +, it was only $5 US! Ahhh… Russian inefficiency… Finally on my side!! It is my parting gift. ;-)
I'm now on my way to Cyprus (if they let me out!). No more worries about Russia.
Talk to you in Cyprus!
Amanda

I couldn't help myself 021506

Greetings!
Still is Moscow… So, I haven't really eaten in a few days. I know. I am stupid. I agree. I have just been too hard headed as always. Well, today I resigned that I was going to go to Business Lunch and find some food! But, I couldn't resist-- I had to look at the menu. It is like rubbernecking. You know that it is wrong, but you do it anyway. There were definitely some interesting combinations as always (Stewed beef with mushrooms and fruit in cream sauce and Pureed spinach and mushroom soup! YUCK! My two most hated ingredients combined… Ehlk), but I decided I was going anyway… maybe the online menu is wrong, the words I can't translate are really something tasty or they have some other items! Maybe I'll disillusion myself into thinking Russian cuisine is awesome!

So, over to Business Lunch I go. On the way, I saw something that I haven't seen in at least a week… the SUN! Ahh… this made me happy. I also notice that its not as "cold" as before. You know you've been in Moscow too long when you no longer think it is that cold and there is two feet of snow on the ground! Maybe it was just my delight at seeing the sun. You also know that you've been in Moscow too long when you stop smiling and laughing, look at the ground all of the time and carry a plastic bag everywhere you go…. But that is another list for another day...

At business lunch, the menu looks the same… however there is no rice pudding as I was hoping… There was one error to the online menu. I'm looking at the menu… Finally, I go back to my old standby… Kuritsa yest? (Do you have chicken?) Believe it or not, sometimes the answer is no. Today I was in luck though! The lady told me they had some chicken cutlets. Sure I say! So she gives me two round things that kind of look like hush puppies. I also ask for potatoes. I pick up a bread that I think says it is with coconut. I am right. I get a mound of ketchup. Basically, today I had the same lunch that I ate everyday throughout middle school.. Chicken nuggets and some sort of potato. The only reason that middle school lunch is better is because the ketchup is not the consistency of tomato paste and sweet and vinegary. So, you'll be happy to know that I am eating more than gum now.

Yesterday, I had an epiphany. The chair that I had been sitting in for the past few days was horrible. It was extremely low and reclined in the back, hence the source of the back pain that I had been having. I curse Russia for not having Workplace Safety laws (among other things). So, I went to the receptionist (after going through the trouble of looking up the word for borrow in Russian) and ask if I can borrow a chair from one of the conference rooms. You would think this would be easy. We are looking at an empty conference room full of chairs as we speak! But, no, dare I forget that I am in Russia, and NOTHING is easy in here. They tell me that they are not sure and must ask the office manager first. Thankfully, my security guard boyfriend who always stares at me (I now know what zoo animals feel like) brought me a chair from the conference room about an hour later. Finally!! So, I slept last night. Life is getting better in Moscow (just in time for me to leave).

I also have an update on Sergei, whose name is really Alexsei (I must not have heard him right. He mumbled when I asked him the first time. So, I asked Vadim, the other driver his name.). We are talking now. He isn't too bad. He's still not Yuri. Yuri has stopped by to see me a few times. He's looking snazzy. He's been wearing a suit and tie. He told me that they gave him a promotion, and now he is in charge of all of the drivers, housekeepers and security. Go Yuri! He was so proud!

I know what you are waiting for though… More crazy things about Russia… Here goes…
Things seen only in Russia:
-I saw a Lada (the horrible Russian cars still using Soviet designs… You know it is a quality car… They stole the plans from Fiat in the 70's!) with a sectional strapped to the top. It was really unbelievable!! Don't worry I got a picture.

-I have yet to see refrigerated milk. Mmmm…
-Everything looks like it is from another decade… the fashion, the packaging, the commercials…
-Who needs a stroller? We have much better! A toddler sled. It make the parents kind of look like mush dogs, but it makes sense.
-The other day I noticed these things on the counter in my conference room. They look exactly like open tampons (with applicator). Sorry! But seriously they do. They are markers… So, only in Russia.. Tampon Markers.
-One of the Russian painters at the bazaar painted only Japanese style and with Japanese characters. I took enough Japanese to think that he made the characters up.
-There are no lines on some of the roads.
-The traffic lights blink green before they turn yellow.
I'm running out of crazy things about Russia. This means that I've been to long and the craziness is starting to make sense to me. It is time to leave!
Well, work time! I'm counting down the hours until Cyprus (I leave tomorrow around noon), and I have tons to do!
Amanda

Hungry?

Here are the results of my European "diet".

Eat your lunch BEFORE you read this, buy your flowers AFTER... 021406

Hi, all,
OK, so I've been trying to lay low. I think my problem lately is that I haven't really been sleeping… or eating for that matter. This has caused me to be fairly unproductive… well, not unproductive, but not as productive as I'd like to be.

You must know that I'm not anorexic (just look at me!), but I have my limits. There are deal breakers for me… they include mushrooms, mayonnaise, parts of animals that I can't distinguish, fish from waters that have once been radiated and cream based sauces. So, lets take a look at today's Business Lunch menu… Well to start there is always Liver Stroganoff… mmm, delightful! Not only is there a piece of a cow that I wouldn't be able to identify by sight, but there is also a cream based sauce. Yummy! Let's continue down the menu-- Squid salad in marinade, Salad with both mushrooms and mayonnaise, Cream soup with mushrooms, Pike (perch) with cream sauce and bacon, a part of the cow that I can't translate (chopped) and baked with tomatoes, cheese and sour cream. OK, then there are the items that are unidentifiable. I'm not quite sure what these words mean… Сотэ (I think it is something from chicken), Солянка (something to do with some vegetables), Биточек (something to do with beef)… Then there are the things that just don't make sense to me, such as Икра овощная. This says caviar with vegetables. Hmm.. Also, on the website the list a spot for Диетические, вегетарианские блюда-- this means diet and vegetarian courses. There are two interesting things about this. 1) I've never seen any of this actually at Business Lunch. Maybe you need to ask?; and 2) The vegetarian menu includes all different kinds of meat (broth, etc). Ahhh… Russia! I know now why everyone is so thin here. Maybe we should adopt this diet in America-- Extremely high fat food that makes your stomach turn to think of it. I think I was better off when I went to lunch blind. I guess ignorance is bliss.

So, today is Valentine's Day. I am such a bad wife. This marks the third "holiday" that I have missed in the past year-- Thanksgiving, my birthday, and now Valentine's Day. I almost missed our anniversary too, but thanks to the Russian consulate, I was sent home. Sorry, there will be no Valentine's dinner party this year… Next year though, liver stroganoff for everyone! ;-)

So, what's going on here in Russia for день Святого Валентина? Believe it or not, it is very similar to the US. Flower prices have skyrocketed overnight, which is a tad surprising to me. There are WAY more florists in Moscow, and you would think there would be more competition. I guess it is directly relational to the Russian love of flowers. There are also these little stores called "Podaroki" which means "Gifts"-- imagine that. They are basically, the Hallmark store, take away the cards and make it Russian-ghetto. Here you can buy stuffed animals and crap to give to your sweetheart. Everything is heart shaped right now. Heart shaped does not mean gaudy in Russia! It means better. I talked to a few of my compatriots here and they say that V-tag is mainly for you and your sweetheart. You don't give Valentine's or e-mails to your friends and family… only your honey.

Coming up is a set of special Russian holidays to honor everyone. First, there will be Men's Day. I guess it is similar to our Father's Day, but you don't have to be a Father to still be special. On this day, you must do something nice for every man that is special to you… friends, family, husband, etc. Two weeks later comes Women's Day. I've heard that Women's Day is a flower extravaganza. If the florists haven't already made a load off of V-tag, here's where they are going into the black. Men are expected to buy flowers for pretty much every woman they know. It is said that the florists make more money on Women's day than they will cumulatively the rest of the year. From what I hear though, how good your woman's day is directly depends on how good his man's day was. These holidays are distinctive to Russia as they are remnants of Communism. **Below is a Women's Day Sign from the Communist Days.

Very important! Flowers mean different things in Russia. I know they mean things in the States, but no one recognizes it. Here it matters! In Russia, flowers are a key form of communication. They transcend language and are a key indication of care and consideration. You do not want to give your boss red roses especially long stemmed (these are much more expensive and rare), unless you really mean it. Another very important detail, in Russia, you would never send a dozen roses. Even numbers of flowers are considered highly unlucky and are only sent at funerals! Another interesting tidbit of info… so, are you tired of your girlfriend? Want to give her a hint that you want to move on? Just send her some yellow flowers. Yellow flowers mean bad luck and signify the end of an affair.

As for me, I'm going to head down to the little "Produktoy" (little stand on the side of the road that sell stuff) to grab a Diet Coke and some gum (it is the Moscow diet). I don't think I can stomach Business Lunch today after reading the menu.
Have a great Valentine's Day and remember the rules. С днём Святого Валентина!
Amanda
**Note: Those are real Russians at the top picture. I took it off of a Russian Valentine's site.

Does Russia Have Wal-Mart? No, but I went to the next best thing. 021306

4 Metro Passes - 60 Rubles
Ismailovsky Market Fee - 10 Rubles
Exploring Moscow for 12 hours in Sub-zero weather - Priceless

So, today I finally pried myself from my hotel room and went out into the city. I got up early this morning to leave. I literally donned 7 layers of clothing in anticipation of the morbid cold and with the memories of my limbs going numb last time. As I entered the Metro this morning, I noticed two things that I found very interesting. First, outside, it was completely quiet. The trams were running, but there were no people. Inside the Metro however, it sounded like an aviary gone berserk. It makes sense though. Hey, if I were a bird in Moscow, I would definitely find my way into the Metro station. The Metros are heated. The birds aren't stupid… well, maybe they are for not migrating south. Dummies! But on that note, while I heard the birds this morning, I saw no bird droppings in the stations, nor did I hear them at all later in the day, once other people joined me on the metro. Secondly, whoever thought that marble for all of the Metro stairs and halls should be executed, if he hasn't been sent to Siberia already. There is nothing more slippery than worn marble when you add snow and dirt. I thought it was bad in the morning, but once the throngs of people joined me on the subway, it was more dangerous than Delaware driving in a Nor'easter. I will note though that the people were very cognizant not to knock over the babushkas carefully navigating the stairs.

Destination 1: Church. I had perused the internet last night and found the address and time. I also looked for any kind of directions. Some other expat had surely posted them in hopes of helping someone in the future, right? Wrong! I did however, know which Metro station. I had to change trains 2 times and then when I finally arrived at Metro Sokolniki, the street that I was looking for was nowhere to be found. Thankfully, after asking the fifth person I was pointed in the right direction. I walked for about 15 minutes. Finally, I asked another person, and there it was Strominski Pereulok! Yea! So, I walk down the street looking at the number 1, 2, 3, 4, 5… okay, there is 6, where is the church sign?! I figure maybe it is on the other side. So, I walk all around the building. Great! Now, I am late. Finally, I go in the building. I ask the attended where is the Mormonski Tsirkov. Other side of the building, the brown door had a small gold plaque. I was late, but I was there.

So, I enter, change (heck, if I was wearing a skirt around in the cold), and sit next to a family that looked like they could have been from my ward in SB. I looked around and with a few exceptions, everyone was American, and it was packed. This could've been any branch in the US. The speaker was great. She was obviously very Utah. Her husband spoke next. Very nice people. Afterwards, I spoke with some of the people. I was amazed to learn that the majority did not speak Russian, even though they had lived in Russia for quite some time. Some had tried to learn but without much success.

Sunday school started. The teacher started into a DETAILED lineage of Noah. At this point, it was definitely time for destination 2- Ismailovsky Market. I snuck out and got changed. I hucked it back up to the subway. On the way there, I passed a park. Every Russian in Moscow must take their dogs to love this park. It looked like the Eukanuba Cup. I saw big dogs that looked like they should be in Russia--Saint Bernards, Bernese Mountain Dogs, etc, small dogs with sweaters, and then I saw it… a Rhodesian Ridgeback and before I knew it… I exclaimed, "Aa.. Eta Rhodesian Ridgeback." The lady was seriously surprised that I knew what it was. He was handsome. I wanted to slap the lady though… Dummy, that dog is from Africa. Get him a sweater. He's shivering!

So, I get on the next train. I'm on my way for some serious shopping. I'm looking for Ismailovsky Park… not Ismailovskaya which is the one after Ismailovsky Park. So, I'm watching my map and tracing my route, one of the subway stations is closed for renovations, so I get thrown off. Next thing I know I hear over the speaker in Russian, the next stop is Ismailovskaya. What?! They didn't say Ismailovsky Park when they just stopped. So, I talk to the lady next to me. She lectures me for using my map instead of listening. Apparently, they realized the confusion that two stations with the same name caused and changed the name of Ismailovsky Park to Partisanskaya. Great! Apparently, the makers of the Metro maps didn't get the notice. Anyway, I arrive at Ismailovskaya… It was different. I was definitely in the boondocks. Kind of scary. I won't go into detail. I figure it out and get to the market.

My dad was asking me the other night about where Russians shop. Well, welcome to the Russian equivalent of Wal-mart--Ismailovsky Market. It is an outdoor market. There are tons and tons of stands. They sell everything necessary for Russian life: coats, shoes, tea kettle covers, samovars, carpets, paintings, dish towels, nesting dolls, lacquer boxes, shoe inserts… I check everything out, bargain and get some cool stuff. I found a new section of the market this time that is all painters. It is great. I bought two paintings. Looking at them now, I should have foregone the oil and bought two of the watercolors. I walked around the market for hours. Finally, I give in and get some shashlick, hleb and applesinovski sok (kebabs, bread and orange juice) from the vendors in the market. (Note: I save some of my chicken and bread for the birds and the wild dogs that I see around Moscow.) Thankfully, they have a little dining room upstairs as it is becoming unbearably frigid. There I meet Louise and Sarah from Essex, UK.

Sarah is here on business (strangely she works for Chevron as well did the Branch President this morning… small world!). Louise has taken the chance to visit her friend in Russia. Neither speak Russian and are happy to have me to navigate. I am happy to have someone with which to speak English. They are also going on a subway tour so I join them. The subways of Moscow are amazing! They are known as the "Underground Palaces." They incorporate mosaics, stained glass, paintings, inlay work, stone work, etc. I will post pictures when I get my stupid camera cord. For now, I will add some examples to blog. We have a great time subway hopping (Destinations 3-7).

Finally, we hit a café (Destination 8) and chill for awhile. They have to catch a plane back to the UK. We bid adieu, and I meander over to Red Square (Destination 9). On my way over there I see that absolutely no progress has been made on Bolshoi Theatre since I was there in August. Can't rush the Russians! I see some neat ice sculptures near the entrance to Red Square. People have stuck ruble coins all over them… maybe this is a tribute to the artist?

Red Square is the same… just fewer international tourists and a lot more snow. (I chose a picture at night, no snow in this one though.) I attract some interesting looks as I go all around Red Square taking pictures with a paper doll. One Russian guy gives me a particularly hard look and drags his kid away. I try to explain in Russian.. It's for a school project… for kids! He gives me another hard looks and says, "I don't understand you" in Russian then starts cursing. Ahhh… Americans, we are hated everywhere. Apparently, kids don't have school projects in Russia. ;-)

Finally, I tire of this and make may way home (Final Destination-- 10) via the good ole Metro. I almost fall a few times and I've seen a few people who have. I'm happy to be home. I take a bath, talk to Claron and get ready for another fun filled day in Moscow.
After effects:
-My boots are destroyed. They are covered in gunk and since they are suede… too bad. My feet don't hurt though. =-)
-My abductors are killing. Who knew you use your abductors so much when trying not to kill yourself on slippery marble?
-I still have my half bread and chicken. Magically, I saw no more wild dogs or birds once I had food to offer! Weird.
-Half of my clothes are dirty as I wore them today!
-I'm exhausted!
'Night,
Amanda

Back to Business Lunch 021006

Hi, Folks--
Well, I'm back in Moscow. It is not as bad as I always dread it to be. Yes, it is ridiculously cold. It is so cold that if I breathe through my mouth it makes my lungs hurt for 15 minutes.

I am staying at the Holiday Inn. As I said before, it is the nicest Holiday Inn that I have ever seen. Last night, my jet lag kicked in. I was away from about 1 a.m. to 3 a.m. When my alarm went off this morning, I really didn't want to get up. I went down and had breakfast. I must say breakfast at the Holiday Inn isn't even in the same league as the Hotel J. Also, breakfast at the Marriott Grand in Moscow is better. I really miss the pastries at the Grand. I guess it is better for me this way anyway--back to my Russian diet--Diet Coke and Dentyne. Well, I had my fruit. It is some of the most expensive fruit that I have ever had. Breakfast at the Holiday Inn sets you back 600 RUR. This computes to $21.23 with today's exchange rate.

After my breakfast, I went to the lobby to wait for my driver. There I met an Asian-German. He is originally from China but lives in Bavaria. Very nice guy. He is in Moscow for the first time to help his compatriots with some software issues. He doesn't speak Russian and is having quite a time of it. I offered to help him out over the weekend. I should really start charging for my services… every time I come to Russia, I am Amanda, Moscow tour guide.

So, when I arrived at the lobby, it was 8:00 a.m. I was expecting my driver at 8:30 a.m. "Vociem Tree-dset -- Normalnaya" according to Sergei. So 8:30 a.m. comes and goes. No Sergei. So, I wander outside at 8:35 a.m. He is outside in the car. I miss Yuri who comes in and gets me and looks happy to see me. I open the door and get in. I miss Yuri who locks the door so he has to open it for me. Driving with Sergei is interesting. When he passes he flashes his lights and beeps. I miss Yuri who never drives crazy, flashing his lights and beeping. We don't really talk much on the way to work. Sergei turns on the radio. The music sets an interesting tone in which to watch the comings and goings of daily life in Russia. I miss Yuri who always has some funny story or joke to tell me on the way to work. Even though I only get it 2 out of 3 times, I always laugh. I get to work. Sergei waves bye. I miss Yuri who puts on the child locks so he has to open the door for me and tells me to have a good day.
**The picture is of how I should go to work. Haha.

I wonder if the difference in the drivers is not due to their age. Sergei is in his late thirties/early forties. He is married, but his only child passed away about 2 years ago when she was 12 of some illness that I am unable to translate. He is shorter than I am and of normal build. He has dark hair and eyes, a mustache and wears a ski cap. Yuri is in his early 60s. He has a daughter that is only days older than I am and another daughter that is older. He has grandchildren. He is bald with white/grey hair on the sides and blue/grey eyes. He usually does not smile except when I talk to him. He is taller than I am and a little on the heavier side (well for a Russian) and wears a driving cap and leather gloves. I think he takes great pride in his work. Hopefully, he will be back from vacation soon!

It is actually quite comforting to see the pink building that almost feels like my normal work office. The hallway in the office smells reeks like wet cigarettes. It is disgusting. I enter the office and talk to the receptionist. I ask which room I'm in "shest-nadset" (16). I ask if I can't have "vociem-adyen" (21)--the one I had last time. It is the perfect size and already set up. No, it is not in the book that way. So, they kick the English class out of 16, while 21 is empty and unscheduled for the next week. The room is not set up for my purpose. There are none of the cords that I need. I wait another hour as they attempt to find the cords that I need. They probably went to 21 to get them for me. I know that the rest of next week, I will have people walking into my room looking for the English class. This is the part of Russia that drives me crazy and convinces me that they will never truly advance. Why couldn't they just change the danged book? The security guard that I guess is D's age stares at me during this whole exchange. He watches me like people watch the tigers at the zoo. He looks at me this way whenever, I leave my room.

So, I go to begin my work. It seems that everyone I need to talk to is out with the flu today. It is okay. I have tons of other work to catch up on. I just hope they all get back soon.

I went back to good old ЛаньЧ today. I had a great server. She even got me some regular roasted chicken. I also had a "Ragu" of vegetables. It was okay… Mainly cabbage, potatoes, peas and carrots in a sauce that I have no clue what it is made of. I had a rice piroshki and a salad. Overall, it was a good lunch. One of the funny things is that Business Lunch has a website: http://www.best-lunch.ru/ In the website, it looks much spiffier than it is. Now, I can look at the menu and translate before I go, instead of guessing or asking them which one is chicken.

So, in my list tradition, here we go...
Weird things about Russia:
-The mayonnaise is light yellow.
-The ketchup is as thick as tomato paste.
-There are olives and capers on the breakfast bar.
-They eat sour cream with everything.
-Their "cottage cheese" looks like whipped cream.
-They have prune flavored yogurt and prunes in syrup at breakfast.
-None of the teenagers look like D.

-The men wear pointy (and I mean pointy) dress shoes.
-Everything smells weird, except the bathrooms which smell quite nice. The maids here clean them after every person!
-None of the girls are as pretty as Frieda. Maybe it is because they all look like they want to scrap and are dressed like Atlantic City hookers.
-It is acceptable to wear leather pants and see through shirts to work.
-South Park and Life or Something Like It are shown on MTV.
-They have some serious Olympic fever. There is something about the Olympics on every channel. Last night, I watched a Russian Olympic party. They had singers and dancers and "famous people" and Russian Olympians. What a party! One thing I noticed though. Lip synching in Russia is definitely not the crime it is in America.
-Everyone carries plastic bags.
-Did you ever notice most of the fur hats don't cover your ears? Hmm… Seems like a waste.
-Oh, here is a weird thing that I noticed in Sweden… None of the women had big diamonds in their engagement rings. And, I checked out the jewelry store and none of the jewelry had big stones. AND in the front window they didn't have big engagement rings or big diamonds… only little earrings and stuff. Weird! Jerry, did you get off easy? Is that why you are marrying a Swedish girl?

Anyway, I am really chatty lately. I'm not sure what my plans are this weekend. I was thinking of staying in and reading. Maybe I will try to get to Bolshoi theatre, but it is a bit pricy!
I'd better get to work!
Amanda